Some kids call me by other babysitters' names.
Some kids call me Mom.
Some kids call me Babysitter.
Lots of kids just call me You.
A few kids call me Kel, although some pronounce it "cow."
Many kids call me Karen.
One kid calls me Carrot.
This evening, I had a five-and-a-half-year-old tell me just how old I was. She was trying on one of her mom's dresses, and putting on some of her mom's jewelry, and told me that she wished she was old enough to put on her mom's lipstick too.
"When I'm old enough," she told me, "I'll get to wear my mom's lipstick with all this. But you might be dead by then."
"I sure hope not!" I said.
"Why, because you want to see me?"
"Well, I would like to, but also it won't be very long before you're old enough, so I expect that I'll still be alive."
I had no idea that I was THAT old. But apparently, I won't live past another decade...
The Worst Hide and Seek Conditions
Step One: Procure yourself a hide-and-seek playing location. I suggest a house where there are dozens of hiding places for a four year old, and three for a six foot tall 22-year-old.
Step Two: Procure yourself a hide-and-seek partner. Choose an intelligent four-year-old who knows all the hiding places in her house and can fit in the majority of them.
Step Three: Procure yourself a "challenge." I suggest a 14-month-old who is just learning to talk, and coos and babbles all day long. Oh yeah-- she doesn't like the dark and gets noisily confused every time you carry her into a closet and shut the door.
Step Four: Add a second challenge. Playful German Shepherds (the dog, not European sheepherders) are particularly effective. Said dog should follow you around and sniff/whine at the doors of the closets you go inside.
Step Five: Play hide-and-seek! Tell the four-year-old to count to thirty, and run off while she counts as fast as she can, accidentally skipping from 23 to 27. Ask her to count again, because you've barely gotten yourself and the baby out of the room. She does, and you find a bathroom door to hide behind. You pull the door as close to you as you can, and the one-year-old is intrigued. Hey look, the door MOVES! She wants to play with that. She pushes at the door. You pull it towards you, grab her hand, and help her to "dance" to keep her distracted. This works for a minute, at which point the dog is whining by the bathroom, the four-year-old is close by, and the one-year-old wants to say "Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba brrrrrrrr." (That last collection of letters represents the recently learned lip-trill trick.) Then the baby grabs the door, and holds it as she peeks her head out, says "BA!" and gives away the clever hiding place.
I love babysitting.
Step Two: Procure yourself a hide-and-seek partner. Choose an intelligent four-year-old who knows all the hiding places in her house and can fit in the majority of them.
Step Three: Procure yourself a "challenge." I suggest a 14-month-old who is just learning to talk, and coos and babbles all day long. Oh yeah-- she doesn't like the dark and gets noisily confused every time you carry her into a closet and shut the door.
Step Four: Add a second challenge. Playful German Shepherds (the dog, not European sheepherders) are particularly effective. Said dog should follow you around and sniff/whine at the doors of the closets you go inside.
Step Five: Play hide-and-seek! Tell the four-year-old to count to thirty, and run off while she counts as fast as she can, accidentally skipping from 23 to 27. Ask her to count again, because you've barely gotten yourself and the baby out of the room. She does, and you find a bathroom door to hide behind. You pull the door as close to you as you can, and the one-year-old is intrigued. Hey look, the door MOVES! She wants to play with that. She pushes at the door. You pull it towards you, grab her hand, and help her to "dance" to keep her distracted. This works for a minute, at which point the dog is whining by the bathroom, the four-year-old is close by, and the one-year-old wants to say "Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba brrrrrrrr." (That last collection of letters represents the recently learned lip-trill trick.) Then the baby grabs the door, and holds it as she peeks her head out, says "BA!" and gives away the clever hiding place.
I love babysitting.
